Mind of a fickle

Bebi A : Daddy, can you make me an airplane? Daddy : Later Ava, I am busy Bebi A : You always say you're busy, you're hurting my feelings... She then put her face down on the sofa. Drama queen!

Our Bebe A is at the stage of being cheeky and endearing.  She can speak so many words now, some clear, some not.  Hehehe.  She likes to sing as well.  She actually has a good tone.  One of the songs that she likes is the one from Wiggles --- Fruit Salad.  Her version though is : Mom : Fruit Salad Bebe A :  Nyamy Nyamy (Yummy Yummy)

She calms her down with her soothing voice.  She distracts her with things that will entice her.  Although she would rather use her computer or Iphone.  Ate T is a big help in babysitting.  I feel so happy seeing her bond with Bebi A.  It's because I shortchanged her and I am sorry for that.  I thought she wouldn't be interested in playing with her. But, out of all us, I think she's the most patient with Bebi A.  Wish she could be like that with Ate A hehehe but at least, they bond over tv shows, music and games.  LOL. Thank you, Ate T!

Looking back, 2015 is a mix of lows and highs, of mourning and dancing... 2015 held lots of firsts for us.  Ate T stepped into the world of secondary school and became a teen.  Ate A entered the world of school politics LOL and became a double digit tween.  Of course, not to be excluded is our cheeky baby A who turned 1 year old. Though this is not a first but I turned 40 this year.  Life begun as they say.  But, for me, it was just a continuation of the life I am trying to live wonderfully.  Though most of the happening during the first half of the year were more on the highs...  We faced some challenges on the second half.  We lost Tatay.  Though we prayed for his comfort, we couldn't help feel the lost.  A few weeks after, Pre's employer closed shop.  One day notice and bam!  No more office to go to.  I always believed that the Lord always prepare us for the best.  Pre's job hunting was not as pai...

Being a Mom.  Sometimes I feel as I am not cut out for it. Too much work.  Too much responsibility.  Too much worry. Worry that Ate T is taking the bus today.  Ate A's tooth is still in there and the new one has already come out.  Baby A has colds and is screaming and wants to cuddle. Sometimes it leaves me breathless. But When I pick up Ate T from our meeting place, I feel so proud of her because she has become independent and can commute.  Ate A's tenacity in wiggling her tooth and she's now toothless, doesn't need to go to the dentist to have it removed.  And, Baby A despite her colds still has appetite and it just feels good to hug her. God has showered me with so much love for giving me 3 wonderful girls.  It feels good being a mommy. Happy Mother's Day to all you wonderful Mommies!

Ate T will start the new phase of her life this Friday.  She will now be in Secondary School.  She got in to the school's accelerated program and was also given an academic scholarship.  Whew.  This is the first time I've made this public.  I am very, very proud of her but my shy daughter doesn't want anyone to know. We are sooo thankful to Ate T for always doing her best.  Though her Ipad rules her life on most days, we know how diligent she is.  We're praying for her continuous success and that she'll have friends whom will be a good influence to her. Thank you, Ate!

My last post was when I was in 35th week of pregnancy.  Time does fly.  Couldn't believe how fast it took.  Now I am back at work after 6 months of maternity leave. My baby A was born at 37 weeks 6 days at Sunshine Hospital.  It was once again an eventful labor and delivery.  LOL.  Life did get more interesting after that with a new baby.  Days come and go like a blur with all the never ending mommy duties --- taking care of the baby, taking care of the ates, taking care of pre...  Whew...  Wouldn't trade it for anything though.  Very happy and blessed for the last 6 months. 

Almost there.  We have a name now, not too sure if we're still gonna change it.  Journey is almost over and we get the biggest prize of all, a new baby!  Can't wait to hold, smell our new bundle of joy.  She's becoming more restless inside, can feel every kick and poke.  Can feel the pressure in bladder every day.  I feel so heavy and tired once again. There are nights I feel so restless and worried.  Without any help after the birth, I am feeling a bit scared.  But, I always tell myself that I can do it.  I am old enough to raise 2 older girls, I'm sure I can manage a newborn.  Well, let's see.  Hehehe.

On my 32nd week and getting back on that feeling where I am so sleepy and I could sleep anywhere.  Baby Bam Bam as I fondly call her, seemed to have obeyed Mommy and is in the right position already.  A lot can happen though but I hope that she stays there.  I can hear her hiccups and that assures me.  Another thing is, when I am feeling a bit on the down side, she constantly moves and lets me know "Hey, mommy, cheer up!"  Just like Dawter A who somehow knows when to hug me. We've started buying stuffs for Baby Bam Bam.  Hopefully, we can finish it off before she comes.  The next few weeks will be very busy with my work handover, with the upcoming vacation of my brother-in-law's family and of course, just day to day busyness.  I went back to walking from Flinders Street station all the way to my office because I've been eating a lot hahaha  I just seem to be hungry all the time.  Hope that helps regulate my blood sugar.

I am on my 30th week and we still don't have a name for the baby.  Hahaha.  If I am being objective, I'd probably deliver in 8 weeks.  A part of me wants to hold on to that feeling where my baby is still inside me and another part of me is very excited to hold her.  She is probably the third and last and throughout this pregnancy, I am not too sure if I had the chance to truly enjoy being one with her.  Makes me very sentimental. Since we found out late that I am expecting and then the series of news about my health.  It seemed that the focus shifted to the high blood pressure or the gestational diabetes instead of the baby.  Then, of course, been constantly thinking about food since I couldn't really eat much hahaha  I totally lost focus. Then, there are the fears of ineptness after the baby is born.  Total adjustment for the family.  But, nevertheless, I am very excited for her.  I can already feel the smell of her skin, the f...

I couldn't get a really comfortable sleep the past few nights.  I had to sleep on my left but after awhile, I get so tired doing that.  It's just a few more months though and I will bear it until I see our little one.  I am getting really excited about seeing the baby.  Will she look like Dawter T or Dawter A?  I know she will be spoiled rotten by the Ates.  I was so happy to find out that my sister in law kept one of my very important baby/maternity - my milk producing gadgets.  Just have to sterilize it when I receive it and I am ready to go.  I just can't find it in me to buy a new one when I knew I had one before.  Hehehe.  Good thing Ate A and Sis-in-Law kept it!  Whew!  One less thing to buy. I kept thinking of winter clothes for the baby and how to make sure we keep her warm during the winter months.  I guess she just have to be wrapped and swaddled.  Have you read my last post?  I have an update wit...

Last night, I got into a bit of panic.  I was thinking how would I take care of three girls.  Hehehe...  I was so used to having Ate A in Singapore that having 2 then was fairly easy.  I am a working mom.  I leave at before 7am.  How do I prepare the baby for child care?  I don't think Pre will be able to bathe the baby hahaha  So many things were running through my mind and I had to stop and breathe.  I asked Dawter A to hug me. Then I asked Dawter A.  "When the baby comes out, what are we going to do?" She answered, "You will take care of the baby and I will take care of the dog." It seemed so simple for her (and Oh so sneaky).  You see, we don't have a dog.  Hahaha. -o- On another note, I was able to convince Dawter T to talk to the baby.  She had to take a few moments to do it.  She's still icky talking to my tummy.  I wish she'd see and feel the baby move so that it will be come real to her....

I am at my 22nd week and getting bigger.  We found out that we're having another girl (woot!  woot!) though my husband is hoping for a miracle that the baby is a boy!  He said NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE WITH GOD (which is true!)  I am at my 16 units of insulin and seemed to have controlled my sugar level.  I've been failing in my diet.  I am just so hungry most of the time.  I think I can eat non-stop in one day. My little one is very active.  She seems to like music a lot and hearing Dawter T's voice.  It's so hard to sleep now.  I can't seem to find a comfortable position, to add to that are the warm weather we're having.  Not so conjusive for the pregnant.  Hehehe.

It has been a few weeks since I was diagnosed with gestational diabetes, I've moved on from just pricking my fingers 4 times a day to injecting insulin before I sleep.  I watched what I eat or cheat sometimes hahaha  (duhhh who could go without sugar???) I've been deprived from rice for about 3 weeks now.  I eat soup, bread, veggies and meat.  I feel like it's changing my life style.  I eat VERY frequent meals.  I walk a lot. Speaking of walking... One thing I look forward to during my walks was the after dinner walks with Dawter A.  We talked a lot about things, how our life will change when the baby's born, how she's gonna be an ate, how she wants to tell the whole world about the gender.  The only thing is once we come home, she gets very hungry and eats a lot hahaha

Bebe is now at 18 weeks.  Halfway there.  Seems too far away but getting excited as I feel him move --- those butterfly like movements makes me feel comforted that he's there.  Most of the time, I feel scared especially when I think of the things I did when I didn't know yet that I was pregnant.  I drank too much coffee, I took hayfever, cough meds.  I carried heavy boxes.  I ate too much sweets and chicheria. Everytime though, God imposes on me that I shouldn't let my fear get in the way.  My bebe is God's birthday gift to me.  Everything will be fine.

Yesterday was not a good day.  I got a call from the pathology I went to and they informed me that I need to come back so that they can take another blood sample.  I went home early and on the way, I received a text message from the hospital that my glucose test result was higher than normal.  I cried, felt funny hiding from the other train customers but couldn't help myself.  A case of self-pity and I got really worried that the baby might not receiving the ample care and nutrition from me. Eversince I found out I was pregnant.  I was plague with one thing after the other.  As I have said, I have an old body and a body not ready for another pregnancy.  I am currently being monitored for hypertension just in case it gets too high I become candidate for Pre-Eclampsia,  I had trouble peeing when I hold it.  Couldn't sleep well due to heart burn and numbness on my inner thighs.  And now, gestational diabetes. To top my day off, I rece...

I wouldn't say that I finally got a breather now that the girls are both in school.  It has been pleasant not to think about their lunch box menu and homework.  Not that I am complaining too much about homework which is not that much here. Dawter T has started year 6.  When I was in Grade 6, my mama also gave to my sis D (4th in the family).  So, I keep thinking about the age gap, will Dawter T be able to be more patient with her new sibling?  She's very serious and I pray that the baby will bring out more joy in her. Dawter A (her name has been promoted to Dawter since she'll no longer be the baby come July LOL) has been very loving as always.  She constantly reminds me of things I shouldn't eat, things I shouldn't do.  It's very, very sweet. The contrast between the two of them balances things in our house.  I love them both so much and it's good that they are individuals, they have their own likes and dislikes, their own hopes and as...

I went to mass on my last birthday.  I asked God for a blessing, an addition to the family.  Pre and I still want another baby.  Now that our Bebi A is no longer a baby, we have this wish that we'll have one more baby to care for. We didn't plan.  Pre even said next year.  Ok.  I will be 39 next year (tanda na!) and my eggs are ticking away.  I have borderline high blood pressure.  I had borderline gestational diabetes with Bebi A.  My body's not ready. Sometimes though, ready or not.  God will just surprise you.  He will give you the wish you've been asking for.  So yes, Bebi #3 is coming soon LOL well, not too soon, around July (again!)  We found out on December 2, 2013.  And boy, were we surprised!!!  I took 4 pregnancy kit tests and had my blood test as well.  LOL. We're very ecstatic.  He's (we're claiming!) God's gift to us.

A thankful heart invites peace into your heart.  The past year has seen its share of ups and downs.  But, my heart is filled with gratitude with the amount of love that other people has the capacity to bestow on me and my family.                     

Last August 4 was Neybor J's birthday celebration at Play Hut.  Bebi A played at the slides while Dawter T just sat with us (all the more that I am keen to think that she's now dalaga wahhhhh).  Anyway, while I was chatting with other guests, Bebi A came over to me and said that her tooth broke.  What?  And then, I saw it!  Her PERMANENT front tooth got chipped while she played at the slide.  She was a bit panicked (I was too, deep inside!!!). I tried not to show it but  I was very worried. Her dad said to just continue playing, that we'll just have it fixed.  And, she did just that.  She went back to the trampoline and slides, and just played. I couldn't help feel envious of Bebi A.  Wish I can be like that when things happen.  Things that I cannot change already.  That life goes on and we'll just have it fixed. A week later, we did just that.  We had it fixed.  It may not be as strong as the old one....