Mind of a fickle

Being a Mom.  Sometimes I feel as I am not cut out for it. Too much work.  Too much responsibility.  Too much worry. Worry that Ate T is taking the bus today.  Ate A's tooth is still in there and the new one has already come out.  Baby A has colds and is screaming and wants to cuddle. Sometimes it leaves me breathless. But When I pick up Ate T from our meeting place, I feel so proud of her because she has become independent and can commute.  Ate A's tenacity in wiggling her tooth and she's now toothless, doesn't need to go to the dentist to have it removed.  And, Baby A despite her colds still has appetite and it just feels good to hug her. God has showered me with so much love for giving me 3 wonderful girls.  It feels good being a mommy. Happy Mother's Day to all you wonderful Mommies!

Ate T will start the new phase of her life this Friday.  She will now be in Secondary School.  She got in to the school's accelerated program and was also given an academic scholarship.  Whew.  This is the first time I've made this public.  I am very, very proud of her but my shy daughter doesn't want anyone to know. We are sooo thankful to Ate T for always doing her best.  Though her Ipad rules her life on most days, we know how diligent she is.  We're praying for her continuous success and that she'll have friends whom will be a good influence to her. Thank you, Ate!

My last post was when I was in 35th week of pregnancy.  Time does fly.  Couldn't believe how fast it took.  Now I am back at work after 6 months of maternity leave. My baby A was born at 37 weeks 6 days at Sunshine Hospital.  It was once again an eventful labor and delivery.  LOL.  Life did get more interesting after that with a new baby.  Days come and go like a blur with all the never ending mommy duties --- taking care of the baby, taking care of the ates, taking care of pre...  Whew...  Wouldn't trade it for anything though.  Very happy and blessed for the last 6 months. 

Almost there.  We have a name now, not too sure if we're still gonna change it.  Journey is almost over and we get the biggest prize of all, a new baby!  Can't wait to hold, smell our new bundle of joy.  She's becoming more restless inside, can feel every kick and poke.  Can feel the pressure in bladder every day.  I feel so heavy and tired once again. There are nights I feel so restless and worried.  Without any help after the birth, I am feeling a bit scared.  But, I always tell myself that I can do it.  I am old enough to raise 2 older girls, I'm sure I can manage a newborn.  Well, let's see.  Hehehe.

On my 32nd week and getting back on that feeling where I am so sleepy and I could sleep anywhere.  Baby Bam Bam as I fondly call her, seemed to have obeyed Mommy and is in the right position already.  A lot can happen though but I hope that she stays there.  I can hear her hiccups and that assures me.  Another thing is, when I am feeling a bit on the down side, she constantly moves and lets me know "Hey, mommy, cheer up!"  Just like Dawter A who somehow knows when to hug me. We've started buying stuffs for Baby Bam Bam.  Hopefully, we can finish it off before she comes.  The next few weeks will be very busy with my work handover, with the upcoming vacation of my brother-in-law's family and of course, just day to day busyness.  I went back to walking from Flinders Street station all the way to my office because I've been eating a lot hahaha  I just seem to be hungry all the time.  Hope that helps regulate my blood sugar.

I am on my 30th week and we still don't have a name for the baby.  Hahaha.  If I am being objective, I'd probably deliver in 8 weeks.  A part of me wants to hold on to that feeling where my baby is still inside me and another part of me is very excited to hold her.  She is probably the third and last and throughout this pregnancy, I am not too sure if I had the chance to truly enjoy being one with her.  Makes me very sentimental. Since we found out late that I am expecting and then the series of news about my health.  It seemed that the focus shifted to the high blood pressure or the gestational diabetes instead of the baby.  Then, of course, been constantly thinking about food since I couldn't really eat much hahaha  I totally lost focus. Then, there are the fears of ineptness after the baby is born.  Total adjustment for the family.  But, nevertheless, I am very excited for her.  I can already feel the smell of her skin, the f...

I couldn't get a really comfortable sleep the past few nights.  I had to sleep on my left but after awhile, I get so tired doing that.  It's just a few more months though and I will bear it until I see our little one.  I am getting really excited about seeing the baby.  Will she look like Dawter T or Dawter A?  I know she will be spoiled rotten by the Ates.  I was so happy to find out that my sister in law kept one of my very important baby/maternity - my milk producing gadgets.  Just have to sterilize it when I receive it and I am ready to go.  I just can't find it in me to buy a new one when I knew I had one before.  Hehehe.  Good thing Ate A and Sis-in-Law kept it!  Whew!  One less thing to buy. I kept thinking of winter clothes for the baby and how to make sure we keep her warm during the winter months.  I guess she just have to be wrapped and swaddled.  Have you read my last post?  I have an update wit...