Mind of a fickle

It has been a few weeks since I was diagnosed with gestational diabetes, I've moved on from just pricking my fingers 4 times a day to injecting insulin before I sleep.  I watched what I eat or cheat sometimes hahaha  (duhhh who could go without sugar???) I've been deprived from rice for about 3 weeks now.  I eat soup, bread, veggies and meat.  I feel like it's changing my life style.  I eat VERY frequent meals.  I walk a lot. Speaking of walking... One thing I look forward to during my walks was the after dinner walks with Dawter A.  We talked a lot about things, how our life will change when the baby's born, how she's gonna be an ate, how she wants to tell the whole world about the gender.  The only thing is once we come home, she gets very hungry and eats a lot hahaha

Bebe is now at 18 weeks.  Halfway there.  Seems too far away but getting excited as I feel him move --- those butterfly like movements makes me feel comforted that he's there.  Most of the time, I feel scared especially when I think of the things I did when I didn't know yet that I was pregnant.  I drank too much coffee, I took hayfever, cough meds.  I carried heavy boxes.  I ate too much sweets and chicheria. Everytime though, God imposes on me that I shouldn't let my fear get in the way.  My bebe is God's birthday gift to me.  Everything will be fine.

Yesterday was not a good day.  I got a call from the pathology I went to and they informed me that I need to come back so that they can take another blood sample.  I went home early and on the way, I received a text message from the hospital that my glucose test result was higher than normal.  I cried, felt funny hiding from the other train customers but couldn't help myself.  A case of self-pity and I got really worried that the baby might not receiving the ample care and nutrition from me. Eversince I found out I was pregnant.  I was plague with one thing after the other.  As I have said, I have an old body and a body not ready for another pregnancy.  I am currently being monitored for hypertension just in case it gets too high I become candidate for Pre-Eclampsia,  I had trouble peeing when I hold it.  Couldn't sleep well due to heart burn and numbness on my inner thighs.  And now, gestational diabetes. To top my day off, I rece...