Mind of a fickle

I was really devastated about this missed opportunity just because I was so tired. Just to recap how tired I was --- I woke up early this morning to bring mama and sister D to the airport. Later this evening, we went to see our friend who got hit by a car at Tan Tock Seng. As soon as I arrived home, I ate fast then settled in front of the pc. Woohoo... The call was a bomb! It seems to me as I was not myself, I felt I couldn't understand what the other party was asking me. Hayyyy... Nakakahiya na, nakakainis pa. Oh well, if it's meant for you, the blessing will come through.

I was blog-hopping, not because I don't have anything to do but I was so tired from lack of sleep and food. I also had a disconcerted morning to which I attribute to one problem that came up recently and to which Sister C and I are trying to find a solution to. one. i want to be able to play basketball with my son. well, i don't have one yet and i don't intend to make one out of my daughters so that means, we're trying for a boy. not this year or the next (well, hopefully) but by the time we know we know how and ready. two. i want to own a party store. it may sell ready made items or i can custom make also. three. i should have put this before number two. what i need is to retire by 40 and i hope by that time, they can give me some retirement money to set up my party store. problem is, i am very good at job- hopping so i think i should just start saving for my party store thaan relying on that retirement money. four. travel to US. ewan ko ba, mailap talaga. five...

There are times when you try to tough it up but you still end up in the losing end. A small consolation is that you're right, though you may be the only one who knows. Because the other party never seems to see his mistake. *** It's so hard to weigh things up. One makes you unhappy, the other one is unknown. But you want to reach it even if it is not yet there. Because you feel it's your salvation from the otherwise monotony. *** There will be someone who wouldn't want to see you move on. And, when you look in a mirror, there'll be a vague reflection. Somehow, in the past, that someone was you. *** People around you make or break you. It's up to you though if you're going to let them.

I was surfing the net when Bebi A suddenly stood up from the crib and called me in that sweet tone of hers "Ma-ma". My worries that I am going back to work tomorrow suddenly vanished.

Guess where I am writing this post?! I am at work. I came at around 11:15PM coz today is our preventive maintenance ekek... It's a weird feeling going to work at this hour. What I felt awhile ago was the same feeling I had when I was doing my shift work for Amkor before. Yun bang parang di ako mapakali. Oh well... To further add to the wound is that I wouldn't be able to get any time-off in lieu of tonight's work because as my boss puts it, 'it's part of the job'! How I wish I am at home. We're all probably sleeping now. Dawter T already doing her taekwondo moves, Bebi A tossing and turning inside her crib, and Pre already sound asleep. Is this worth it? Hayyy, don't think so.

There has been a running count on the number of sleep till Dawter T's 4th birthday. She will have a small celebration at her school --- a first for Dawter T and the mommy. Actually, we have been asking her what she wants since around June when we were planning for Bebi A's 1st birthday. At first, she wanted a party too. But, her daddy talked to her that he will just buy her a gift then we'll have party on her 7th birthday. She said ok. But, the Mommy (the ever maekek) told her that we'll just have a small one at school. I told her she could get to pick the plastic loot bags. She did and she was so excited as we prepared the loots one Saturday afternoon. I am also excited coz I get to see her again with her classmates, her friends. I often hear her stories about this classmate and that classmate, and that piqued my interests. Well, isang tulog na lang. Tomorrow, we'll bring chicken nuggets, cheese sticks, mallows, cake and the lootbags. Hopefully, Dawter T w...

"I never seek to defeat the man I am fighting," he explained. "I seek to defeat his confidence. A mind troubled by doubt cannot focus on the course to victory. Two men are equals-true equals-only when they both have equal confidence". quoted by Admiral Yamamoto Isoroku Arthur Golden Memoirs of Geisha This strucked me because I feel so defeated at work.

I think it was a month ago when Dawter T told us what she learned at school that day. She said they were learning different colors. She told me that if two socks have different colors, it's called "Ot Saks". Huh. I asked Pre, Sister C, Ate A but all were dumbfounded as I was. Last Friday, she brought her yellow bag with another book they just finished at school. It was about different socks. On the last page, something caught my attention --- ODD SOCKS? Could it be Ot Saks? I asked her to say it ODD SOCKS. True enough, she said "Ot saks". When I tried to correct her, she said that I am wrong. That's not how her teacher says it. I was quite irritated so I ask her to say it as "Odd Socks" because that's how daddy and mommy says it, and daddy and mommy are right! It's already happening. My girl is becoming Singlish!

YELLLOW Yellow, yellow, dirty fellow. BLUE Blue, blue, sticky glue.

Everytime I am on duty at work, it feels like everything is on hold. The things I usually do. Grocery shopping. My playtime with my kids --- I usually arrive past 9 and one of them is already in bed. Cooking dinner. Watch Bituin Walang Ningning (har har har). The things I need to do. My Projects - August project is private (so why tell here? hahaha). Dawter T's birthday preps - this year, it's going to be at school, magpapakastage mom ako. Bring my mama and sister outside Singapore. My business. The things I want to do. As trivial as going to the movies. Eat out (should I just say pig out?).

These boots are made for walking. Bebi A has started walking a few months back. However, after a couple of steps, she will sit down then crawl. We thought she will follow her ate's footsteps (pardon the pun) and start to walk before she turns 1. Two weeks after her first birthday and lots of cheers, Bebi A started walking on her own. This time we couldn't make her stop. Mas magaling ako sa 'yo. This was the statement of Dawter T to my Sister D last Saturday when the whole family went bowling. Pre taught her how to bowl and managed to bring down 9 pins on her nth try against Sister D's 5 pins. Hayyy yabang! After that, puro kanal na! I will start my diet tomorrow . My plan was to start my low carb diet last Monday. Problem was, my mama started cooking and I just couldn't help getting second servings. I am really determined to lose weight this time. Oh puhh-lease, appetite be gone! What's more, Dawter T is not helping. She's so fickle with her ...

I was not really given that much time before to get to know my younger sister D. When she was born, I was already in my 4th grade. When she started school, I was already in High School. The age gap was there and I didn't do anything about it. When I came back to the Philippines for my wedding on 2001, she gave me a letter during Christmas which I kept inside my Bible til now. When I am down, I usually open and read it. It was a simple thank you letter but I held on to it because I felt so happy being appreciated by my kid sister. It never fails to lift me up. She graduated this year. My parents wanted me to come home to see it but was not able to since there were a lot of work at the office then. I got to see her during our vacation though and boy, was she all grown up?! So pretty and thin hehe She worked at Seattle's Best for a while and when we were there, I was so proud of her because it was something I wanted to do before (worked in Jollibee or McDo) but never had...